I experienced my last episode of a panic attack back in 2022. I was in the office, requested an early out, and drove alone from Cabuyao to Alaminos. While driving, the panic attack didn’t stop. My entire body felt numb, and it became hard to breathe. I turned on my hazard lights and pulled over onto the road shoulder, right after the Calamba exit on SLEX. I did some breathing exercises to calm my mind and body.
I prayed aloud:
“Lord, please don’t take me just yet… Let me get home to my husband first, then I’ll be ready.”
After a few minutes, the numbness started to fade. I gripped the wheel again and, by God’s grace, made it home safely.
That was my fourth panic attack, if my memory is right.
The first time, I was rushed to the hospital for hyperventilation. The staff said nothing was seriously wrong, so we went home right away.
The second time, I was confined in a hospital, only to be diagnosed with a simple UTI.
I thought, Really???
After I was discharged, I still didn’t feel okay.
I even consulted a cardiologist, thinking it might be a heart issue because of the constant chest tightness and difficulty breathing. After reviewing all the test results, the doctor smiled and said:
“Iha, you’re still young. Based on your results, your heart is perfectly fine. What you're experiencing is likely anxiety.”
Was I just being overly dramatic?
Maybe.
But what I was feeling was very real.
That last panic attack, the one that felt like I was truly dying, made a major impact on my life.
It changed my mindset. I knew I had to start living with intention, as if God was sending me clear signs. Did it really have to take four episodes for me to finally change?
Charles Bukowski once said,
"You have to die a few times before you can really live."
And while I understand he meant metaphorical deaths (mistakes, failures, setbacks),
I genuinely believe that final panic attack became the moment I was transformed.
So, I made a decision:
I needed to change.
I resigned from my job.
I became a full-time housewife.
I started taking on small projects, just enough to manage without getting overwhelmed.
I learned new skills like basic video editing and Canva design.
I began serving in our community.
I started traveling and going on road trips with my husband.
And now, we’re living the digital nomad life in Spain.
Years have passed, and while I still continue to work on myself, I feel so much better now. I’ve stopped being a people-pleaser and finally learned how to be kinder to myself.
I’ve accepted that I can't control other people, but I can always control my responses and actions. I unfollowed people, pages, and groups that were harming my mental health. I stopped chasing unrealistic expectations and let go of the habit of taking everything personally.
These days, I make memories with my husband, whether through road trips, vacations, or simple quality time together. I love capturing those moments through photos and videos,
ones I can re-watch anytime.
Because honestly, we never know when the last time will be.
So I savor every moment and collect as many happy memories as I can.
Some of them are even posted on our YouTube channel, with the hope of spreading joy and positivity to others, too.
Every day, I tell myself words that heal, affirm, and uplift.
I’ve seen firsthand how powerful the mind can be.
As Napoleon Hill once said,
“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
It’s so easy to fall into overthinking and negative thinking. But my experience taught me that
I just need to be brave enough to fight back and never lose hope.
I can choose what I allow into my mind.
I can choose to believe in healing and in God’s greater purpose.
I now understand that God allowed me to go through those experiences.
Not to break me,
but to build me.
Not to make me give up,
but to make me stronger.
Not to lose faith,
but to depend on Him more deeply.
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Let’s spread healing and positivity together.
"Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics."
— Dave Willis
I’ve also become more mindful of my thoughts. I’ve learned where to focus my energy. I read books and listen to self-improvement podcasts. I continue my daily prayers and pray the Holy Rosary.
And I’ve added something simple but powerful to my daily routine:
AFFIRMATIONS.
